Tattooed Travel

January passed like some sort of awful fever dream. We gently began to rip off the band-aids of loss, we boxed up animal food and medications and stowed them away under the stairs. The cleaner came and swept up the tumble weaves of discarded pet hair and vacuumed it off the couches. We cried, a lot.

As the grief wove it’s tendrils in and out of our lives, we began to see some light in the darkness. For the first time in many years, Colton and I can focus on us. We hemmed and hawed over potential mini vacations, first Jamaica, then Iceland, then literally anywhere I could find on skyscanner. His work made it hard, then I started my back piece, and traveling anywhere until it’s finished is out of the question. One, because I go in every two weeks and therefore cannot expose myself to sun, sea, or pool, and two, dear god the healing itch.

So we waited. I stewed, as I do, and we came to the conclusion that should taxes not entirely wipe out our savings account, we may very well be able to leave for our trip in May of this year. A trip I have dreamed of since I was maybe 15? I never assumed it would happen. Never dreamed it could happen. It scares the shit out of me, to be frank. Colton and I both struggle with mental health challenges, I deal with chronic pain, we both take a liberal amount of medications, and are generally homebodies.

So for now, it’s purgatory. We are grieving, we are cleansing, we are starting anew. Within the next week or two we should know if the trip is a go, and if so my planning will go into hyperdrive, likely tempered by Colton’s laissez faire demeanor. Thus far we know that our friends come for the Sleep Token show at Red Rocks in May, my sister’s high school graduation in Florida is shortly thereafter, and he would love to take me back to his home town when I don’t have to freeze my proverbial balls off in the Michigan winter. By this timeline, we would leave the country sometime in early June.

So basically 95 days until things start happening? 95 days ago was November 4th, which was shortly after our wedding and has passed in the blink of an eye. Time is weird. I have nothing left of substance to write (do I ever anyway?), so I’ll leave it at that.